What Your Display of Courtesy Or Lack Of It Might Be Saying About Your Self-esteem

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Today at work (I teach in a secondary school), my school principal hailed me as I walked past his office.

"Corper"

"Good afternoon sir"

"Good afternoon. How are you?"

I replied. 
"I'm fine, thank you sir. HOW ARE YOU?

"I'm also fine, thank you. I like you. You're smart"

That wasn't new. But I flashed a smile and said thank you as I walked away.

The other day, the parish pastor of my church had told me that I behaved like an Englishwoman. I had gone in the company of some other people to solicit the church's financial assistance for our upcoming program. I had shaken his offered hand firmly and maintained unwavering eye contact whenever we had to speak to each other. 

On yet another occasion, an elder in my church had asked while we were greeting, "Can I shake your hand?"
I had replied smiling, "Yes sir, you MAY".

He had seemed mildly surprised, and pleased too. I could tell that it wasn't every day he encountered bold and courteous young fellows, especially not women.

Do you know what's more flattering to a real man than blatant subservience? I'll tell you.

It's the confidence of a woman who knows her worth, her place, her rights, her boundaries, and defines it clearly, even in the subtlest of her conducts without her having to trample on another's ego in the process.

Listen up  young (wo)man,  any man who has a problem with you asking how he's faring, or who has a problem with you taking his offered hand with a firm grip, or who thinks maintaining eye-contact is a sign of arrogance is the one with a problem. Their problem. Not yours.

And ladies, what's it with the limp hands you offer whenever a man initiates a handshake anyways?

Boldness (not impertinence) communicates that you are up to whatever task lies ahead of you and that you have no time for laxities. No time for playing coy, no time for pretend shyness. What is that even? Your idea of humility? Tsk!

You see, I learnt a long time ago that the greatest display of CLASS is COURTESY. That is why I never ignore the magic words, not even when interracting with my colleagues or younger ones. 

In case you didn't know, magic words (the ones you were made to chant in primary school😁) actually do work like magic. And the bonus part: Try replacing 'can' with 'may' or 'could' and watch the potency of your magic increase by 100%. 

The respect that my looks, bank account balance and connections have not earned me, my self-respect has. So has my respect for others.

I'm still in the business of taking people (especially men) by surprise with my perky confidence and courtesy, and I hope to do so until the society gets used to seeing a total woman, the woman that acknowledges her own power by acknowledging the power in others.

So who's with me on this?

21.5.18

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