Love and the Unconventional Woman

I often meet nice, good-looking guys that seem to tick all my boxes, yet I'm unable to get over the fact that they don't have a personal relationship with Jesus. And because I'm feminist and unconventional in my thoughts and lifestyle, how sacrosanct I hold the God-factor in choosing my love interests surprises or even confuses most people.

Interestingly enough, I've also met nice Christian blokes whom I'd never think of settling into marriage with even if they were the last eligible bachelors on earth. It's cute how they carry religion on their heads but I'm just not about that life. In fact, if you are a pastor or look like one, I'll run away. 

The two situations I've just described is why my friends don't understand why I'm still single even when they believe I'd make a cute couple with some of my close male buddies. (Yeeeaaahhh, no. Thanks 🙄)

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On a somewhat unrelated note, I've also come to the conclusion that, for every single lady, there are always two categories of men in the picture:

* The one they'd never date even if he were the last man alive

* The one they secretly admire and would not hesitate to say Yes to (or at least they won't give him a hard time) if he asks them out. 

The chances of the latter happening are very slim, though. I mean, what are the odds that the object of your affection would like you back when he barely even knows or remembers you exist? 

Besides, the latter point speaks to the total lack of agency women exercise in choosing their love partners. Actually, we don't even choose. We wait around until we're picked. We pine in silence for the ones we truly want until the ones we don't want, but who want us, coddle us into accepting them. We learn to love them eventually. 

I can't help but think that this is a miserable way to live. And this, of course, also means that the life I lead currently is a miserable one, because when I like people I simply stalk them while wondering whether or not they're single, and whether or not they like me back.

I've shot my shot only once in my 27 years, and that was this year. And I think I'm still going to be "drinking water" on that singular attempt. You see, I'm that ugly cross between unconventionality and conservativeness. So, regardless of how liberal I appear, I find myself unable to do some things even when I would like to. Sometimes it's a good thing, as it reins in some carnal tendencies, but the cognitive dissonance also often does my head in.

I hope that women will learn to be more expressive about love, and that just as we've learnt to take charge of our bodies and our careers, we will replicate the same in our love lives. Maybe it will happen in my generation; maybe it will happen in the generation after mine, but I'm rooting for this crop of women who be proactive in their romantic choices. 

Be eccentric. You are valid. ❤❤

(Image source: pinterest)