Random Thoughts Of The Lady Next Door

I often meet nice, good-looking guys that seem to tick all my boxes, yet I'm unable to get over the fact that they don't have a personal relationship with Jesus. And because I'm feminist and unconventional in my thoughts and lifestyle, how sacrosanct I hold the God-factor in choosing my love interests surprises or even confuses most people. Interestingly enough, I've also met nice Christian blokes whom I'd never think of settling into marriage with even if they were the last eligible bachelors on earth. It's cute how they carry religion on their heads but I'm just not about that life. In fact, if you are a pastor or look like one, I'll run away.  The two situations I've just described is why my friends don't understand why I'm still single even when they believe I'd make a cute couple with some of my close male buddies. ( Yeeeaaahhh, no. Thanks 🙄) . On a somewhat unrelated note, I've also come to the conclusion that, for ...

I remember how in uni, someone I'd considered a friend and run an errand for turned around to disrespect and even verbally insult me on top of that. Needless to say, she was never a friend as I'd been the one always sticking around to make our caricature of a friendship work when I simply should have settled for acquaintanceship. I remember crying so hard in my room that day because it hurt me badly that I couldn't retaliate. Well, I could, but the Holy Spirit had the upper hand and wouldn't let me give her a good dose of my pettiness and sharp tongue. Aswear, the thing really pained me and I literally told God in prayer "I'm only holding back because of you. Please help me get over this anger and hurt." Surprisingly, I handled that situation so well that I didn't even tell any of our mutual friends about it and I simply moved on from her, thus ending the 5-year friendship. (She came back a year later to apologise and I forgave, but that...

Image credit: Shutterstock   The three times in my life that I was sexually assaulted, it was by family members. Yes, you read that right. Male members of my own family, not strangers. These incidents no doubt have influenced my unwavering position that all men are potential rapists. By this, I mean that although not all men will commit rape in their lifetime, women would be better off not putting the crime beyond any male figure in their lives. As expected, this has gotten some disgruntled readers defensive and, more than once, I have been called broken and bitter — bitter feminist to put it more precisely. Although I know that many of those who disparage me would understand my position better and be a lot less vicious in their disagreement with me should I narrate the experiences that informed this world view of mine, I generally don’t give enough fvcks to care about their opinions of me anyway, and I don’t owe anyone any explanations for my opinions, so I keep it mo...

Mufutau leers at a woman and you can tell his intentions even as he greets her. But when she ignores him, he gets angry at her 'rudeness.' "I dey greet you and you no answer me." But that's the problem, Mufu. Why must a woman answer your greeting? How many men, dressed up and going about their businesses, do you stop randomly to greet?  Sadly, women are expected to be nice even to the worst scum of the earth, including the Mufus of our society, just so they can have their peace.  Did you know that a large percentage of men who sexually assault women want nothing else but to assert their dominance over them? Meaning it has nothing to do with the victim's physical appearance. In fact, it has nothing to do with the man's sexual urge! These men wield their penises as rods for keeping bold women in line. Muscles are for pinning women down as they fondle the pride and self-confidence out of their bodies. And so even when a man rudely intrudes the woman's per...

PC: amazon.com We were a cluster of stranded pedestrians anxious to get home. Darkness had now fully ceiled the sky above us and, as usual by that time of the evening, finding a commercial bike was as easy as finding an incorruptible Nigerian politician. When I eventually got one (no, not an incorruptible politician) and called out my destination, a middle-aged man also jumped forward. He appeared to be heading towards my area too, and was getting ready to join me on the bike.  What made him think it was okay to assume I'd let him, a male stranger, ride with me? His presumptuousness irritated me. But again, I remembered the unspoken code of humanity: to forget race, gender, and all other dividing identities and render assistance when that was all that really mattered. We were all stranded and since I was lucky to find a bike that night, it was only right that I'd also be kind enough to assist a neigbour to get home safely. But no. I remembered all the times I had been sexually ...

Went shopping for a washing machine with my uncle the other day. He'd offered to accompany me because my preferred brand was quite scarce.  On getting to the first store, we discovered the price was above my budget for that product and so we had to leave. We went to another store but the prices were even higher, so we returned to the first. "Welcome back, oga ," I heard the manager say as we arrived. Then he proceeded to ask my uncle what our final decision concerning the product we'd priced earlier was. They spoke for a while, and when we eventually got some privacy, I turned to my uncle, bemused, and asked him, "did you see what just happened?"  But he hadn't noticed anything.  Two people walk into a store. Surely, the manager could direct a general greeting at them both. But no, the clown ignores the woman, his real customer with the money and instead engages the man who has tagged along only for moral support. It hangs heavily in the air, the soft bi...