⚠️UNPOPULAR ADVICE: Keep Your Lover Close, And Your Crush Even Closer.

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Yup, you read that correctly. That's my million-dollar advice on how to get over that silly crush you have on him (insert 'HER' or other feminine pronouns/nouns from here on out if you're a man) especially when you know you shouldn't be harbouring such feelings for whatever reason. Don't argue yet. Just follow me as I share these practical tips. 

1. Do not wait for your him to chase you. Do the chasing. By this, I mean ASK HIM ON A DATE. Yes you, young lady. Pick up your phone and ask him if he's free to hang out- or are you not the one seeking a solution? 😏 The move is yours to make, come on.  

Fixed a date? Now at the venue? OK.

Now's the time to administer the juice in your medulla 😂. Remember, you're not there to fall/bask in love, you're there to fall out of love. So while you may swoon over the perfect cupid's bow of his upper lips, or fantasize about him your knight in shining armour rescuing you his damsel in distress from the sharp crease of his chino pants,  just be sure to keep your conversation lively and MEANINGFUL. 

Talk about your respective hobbies.
Talk about sports.
Talk about faith.
Talk politics.
Anything and everything except sex and hotel reservations. 🙄😂

Now, it's hardly likely that you two would have discussed so much without disagreeing over some few things. But just in case your conversation has mostly been him completely mirroring your sentiments and winning your heart over (and we don't want that 😬😨), quiz him until he "jabo" in your hands (this can be loosely translated into "falling your hand" in Nigerian lingo), by him maybe saying something asinine like "Feminists are men-hating sex-starved bitter lots."

If you're anything like me, by now his beautiful wavy hair will suddenly disappear and be taken over by two ugly horns in your mind's eye, and his nose won't look so cute anymore. It'll start taking the shape of a pig's snout.

Crush ruined. Mission accomplished. 

Don't thank me yet. 

2. Maybe you're even too shy to ask him on a date? Okay, don't. But at least, stop running, or pretending to run away anytime he tries to come close. Love festers more quickly in a hide-and-seek atmosphere. Your coyness will be your own undoing; it will turn YOU on the more!

Allow yourself to be saturated by his presence. Hang out with him, have small talks with him. Have your fill of his heady scent around you. Gorge yourself on his goofy jokes and cherubic face until you become oversated and see-finish takes over. Lol. It will (even faster than if you stay holed up in your room thinking about him). And you know the evil that see-finish does. Hehe! 

Crush ruined. Mission accomplished. 

Hold on with the gratitude.

3. So options 1 and 2 are quite impossible for you because of distance? And he keeps asking for your number but you're afraid that voice calls may make you even more vulnerable? You fear that you may drown in his honey-dripping voice so you keep stalling with giving him your number but keep stalking him online? 

Receive your deliverance from Cupid's arrow today. But you'll achieve that first by tricking your brain and thus your mind. 

The truth is, the intrigue surrounding your striving so hard to not bring your familiarity to the level of voice/video calls makes his crushship in your life a legitimate issue. It becomes a thriller movie in which your crush takes the character of delicious Denzel Washington. Denzel OMG 😋😍

So here's what you do to break free: You release the tension. 
Bring the thriller movie to an abrupt anticlimax. 
How? 
Just give him the darn phone number!

TALK TO HIM. Soak in his voice. Get drowned in it. You will not die. Because the moment you let go of your fear and face it point blank, your crush would be reduced from the position of a "Tin god" over your emotions. 

In essence, I'm saying entertain the call, in fact, initiate the call. Crush the crush, expend it fully and get it over and done with. You will be alright. 

Believe me when I say that these tips have been tried and trusted by yours truly. You can thank me later. 😉😎

Shall we now share the grace?


16.01.19

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