SHINING A BEAM ON THE CHURCH'S COMPLICITY IN FEMALE SUBJUGATION

I am reminded of one episode that took place in one of my church's midweek services.

Preacher: "Do you know that there are some wives who beat their own husbands?"

** ludicrous laughter from the congregation**

Preacher: "May God deliver those men in Jesus name." 

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I am not one to go to church with the aim of picking out flaws in the message or the entire service, but I am also not one who is able to ignore errors, especially when they come from angles where the complete truth is expected to be heard. 

The statement above and the response it elicited from the church opened me up to some questions. Questions like- Why is it not absurd amongst believers that men beat up their wives, but it is absurd that women beat their husbands? 

When the preacher prayed comically that God should deliver such men, I thought, who then will deliver the women that are being beaten by their husbands?

Perhaps, women do not need to be delivered. Being beaten is nothing out of the ordinary. 

One of my strongest beliefs is that if the church openly chastised coat wearing, pulpit-mounting wife beaters, if they preached half as much about men respecting their wives and honouring them as much as they preached subservience (which is mostly their idea of submission), and against divorce, then there wouldn't be so much need to preach about divorce in the first place. 

Unfortunately, double-standards have found a comfortable chair and sitting spot in the church, we hammer on respect and submission, taking it for granted that surely women find it easy to love their husbands. But for men, we excuse their stolidness, saying God knows it's hard for them to love, and that's why they had to be commanded to love their wives. No, they are not required to honour, respect and yield to her advice. After all, it is not written in the Bible.

And so when the wife who refuses to prepare pounded yam and egusi soup at 10:30pm gets beaten by her husband, king, and head, it is not so much of an absurdity. She bought the abuse by her disobedience. No, it is not important to mention the fact that the husband is more the irrational, unreasonable and uncompromising one. 

We are quiet, or decidedly not as vocal about the rights of wives in marriage as we are about the entitlements of their husbands. 

Then, when the divorce rate shoots up, we are first to rant on the altar about the decadence in the society, and the desecration of the marriage institution. 

Women everyday are being enlightened, the half-truths they are mostly fed in the church especially as regards marriage are being exposed. Human and Women Right Activists are preaching the messages that should be preached on the altar, and when these women fly in the face of religion to get their freedom from the unreasonable men occupying the church pews, our religious folks get intimidated and ferociously continue to feed the remaining fleeceable ones on subservience.

After all, it's easier to hold on to shaky indoctrination than to use the will and wisdom God has given us to search for the absolute truth.

03.08.18